Anger Accepts Hate that Enjoys Killing - Mass Shootings filled with emotions.

My Response when asked to make remarks from the article written by Dan Roberts, published November 10, 2013 in The Liberty Crier.

Nearly Every Mass Shooting in the last 20 years shares one thing in common, & it's not weapons

I can't deny that psychiatric drugs are very damaging, to self and others.

It is difficult to accept the drugs I take that say UNKNOWN regarding their results.  Yet they work for me and not for others.

One drug I am aware of damages your system after 18 years.  I know multiple people who have taken this drug for years and then one day, in the 18th year, BOOM!   You are not conscious of your actions and you lose your awareness.

Psych drugs are not like other medications and the person, along with his family, needs education.  When perceived to be like a pain pill, take a pill and feel relief in minutes or hours, it becomes extremely dangerous as these meds need days, weeks and sometimes months before the body accepts the drugs and has a constant flow in the brain.    

Finding the right dosage and types of medications is like tuning in to the right frequency of a radio station.  As you're looking, you hear the static and multiple voices talking at the same time.  Turn the sound up on your radio and continue to search for 10 minutes.  See how you feel and react.  That's an example of what a person is experiencing 24/7.

Every person's body chemistry, DNA, is different.  Hence, how the medication affects one is different for each person.  When drug changes are made, some are hospitalized for 3 days or more.  In my family, my brother and cousins take many of the same drugs but at different dosages.  Some need an extra 'kicker'.

Anti-depressants and mood stabilizers can adversely give you thoughts of what is called suicide.  Its a toss of the coin that determines what may happen. CBT (talk therapy) has also become very effective for PTSD and depression. For PTSD in today's world, talk therapy now equals taking medication.  Talking about your emotions can rid you of these emotions.

Rather than a person thinking he is going to kill himself, its an issue of trying to stop the noise, terminate operation or other "robotic" thoughts without emotion, cancel, shutdown, power off or shut down

I took a class called, "Don't let your emotions rule your life."  Mental Illness is a mood disorder.  Its filled with emotion, seen or unseen.  Many get angry.  I'm blessed with not being an angry person.  On anti-depressants, what you have to do is monitor a person's mood.  Rather than saying "How are you?", you are better off addressing a person with, "How is your mood?"

I'm not an expert or consultant of any kind, but what I see when someone becomes depressed, you are asked "Are you feeling better?"  There needs to be a focus on anger, simply by asking "How angry do you feel?  Did someone or something make you angry today?" or more personal "What pissed you off?"  people seem to relate to that type of language.

The emotion of anger accepts hate, the most evil of emotions.  Hate gives you strength.  Hate gives you a clear mind for planning and power.  Hate disrespects all things.  Hate wants to kill.  Hate enjoys killing.  It has nothing to do with guns or gun control.  If all we had were bows and arrows to kill, there would be an attempt to ban them.  A simple rock, as we recently witnessed, thrown with power kills.

Every action we take can be dangerous.  There are consequences for actions, that we must take responsibility for.

Acts of Prevention and Interventions must take place.  It is not an awareness to weapons.  

It is an awareness of emotions, Anger accepts Hate that enjoys Killing, that what it Can Not Create. Hate Destroys.  

There is something very powerful in the words "Love your neighbor as yourself" as it is the greatest commandment.

Conyers turned in to poster boy on discrimination of the Mentally Ill

I can't believe the 2 letters that arrived in the mail.  Effective today, I have been given a new set of credentials, violating my civil rights like no other.

The Department of Public Safety knows the Department of Mental Health is watching my driver license application.  It has become a political issue between the two Departments of Oklahoma State Agencies.  

The real issue is the Department of Public Safety is saying they have regulations against all people living with a mental illness.  The Department of Mental Illness is saying No, you can't discriminate.  They have had problems with the DPS before.  Now, DPS states its following their regulations AND they will continue their regulations until such time they decide not to.  And am I the poster boy for being treated, as if this is 1960.  By Federal Law, this is discrimination and is violating my civil rights.  The Federal Government has a division for Protection and Advocacy for cases as such that are part of the American Disability Act, 59 offices for what is know as Disability Rights Center.  Congress also pays close attention to mental illness and uses NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness, as a resource.  The number of advocacy groups that have combined in to a Non-Profit Coalition of Advocates has been created for such discrimination.  

The point is the state does not like federal regulations, makes its own laws that make federal regulations illegal and send people to prison for what they post on social media. 

Previously, I had to move back to the state of Kansas.  I will let ALEC know and will advise accordingly.  Those who I know at a national level for Americans For Prosperity will be visited with.  These are those organizations who are politically known for being far to the right, perceived to have support from the Koch Brothers, the surname of children I was paid to play with when they came to the small town I was raised in.  The nice thing is I also know the action groups that  are considered far to the left, like those of MoveOn.org, perceived to have support from George Soros and Stewart R. Mott.   I know Congressman on both sides of the isle, that go by the names of Republicans and Democrats.  I work on legislative bills sponsored by Republicans.  I work on legislative bills sponsored by Democrats.  I can't tell you how many times while working on H.R. 3717 I have stated that Mental Illness does not respect party affiliation and does not respect territorial boundaries.  Many are starting to "Get it". Yet, I have become a state poster boy.

Please don't think I disrespect the state of Oklahoma.  They are doing what they believe is the right thing to do for its citizens.  And that's exactly what they are doing.  

I will defer my writing of the rights of the states to State of  KS House Representative Sue Boldra, an expert on the United States Constitution.  States have their Rights that are not upheld on many issues.  Sue is a Republican.  I shall Ask Rick Cagan, Executive Director of NAMI ks, to comment on the Amendments to the Constitution.  Rick is a Democrat.  Both are professional friends of mine and can use both as a reference. Both know I live with a mental illness.   Party Affiliation doesn't really matter to me.

I should be happy that I have confirmed appointments on Capital Hill in Washington, DC later this year.

My e-mail to the individuals working for the Oklahoma Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse is written below.  One of the two letters received today in the mail is shown as a picture.

Jeff,

Sit down, shut your door and promise not to scream loud words of profanity before you read the attachment.

Keith Olbermann would consider this letter "The Worsest of the Worse" in Mental Illness Discrimination.

Per this state's regulations, The Department feels it is necessary that I must submit to mental health reporting every 6 months until the Department feels such reporting is no longer necessary.

Am I deemed a criminal, where my probation period goes on, unending?

Who has been named judge and jury?  

Where can I find the state statutes that defines what requirements I must meet in order for the Department to justify I no longer have to be on probation?  

Must I be healed from my mental illness?  Or might it be an act of discrimination like no other state that I am aware of?  

I recognize that I was consciously self-aware of my actions by wanting to move to Oklahoma.  I question Oklahoma wanting me to join their state.  It certainly appears to me they would rather have me go somewhere else. 

I have been driving legally since age 16, have had only 1 traffic ticket in my lifetime for running a red light in the state of Maryland during rush time traffic in a busy metro area,  have never been a driver in an accident, have never had to go to court on a driving violation and have never had any prior restrictions for driving.   

Thank you.

Randy

I don't know if anyone in the DPS has read my bio in a program booklet, speaking as the keynote speaker at conferences, bio on fliers or have read my first book on mental illness.  I can be most certain the application process for a Driver License has already written chapters in my second book that will also be published by Tate Publishing, Inc.

Deadline extended! Speaker Applications

Completed e-mail received last night for SPEAKER APPLICATION Connecting Two Worlds: The Journey to Wellness Integrating Physical and Behavioral Health Care. This conference at the Jane S. McKimmon Center – Raleigh/Durham, will focus on integrating physical and behavioral health. We strive to make inroads into the loss of 25 years of life for those impacted by mental illness by focusing not only on each individual’s mental health, but on their physical health as well.

Our Affiliate, NAMI Edmond North-OKC, Walks. Please click here to donate.

Our Affiliate, NAMI Edmond North-OKC, focus is on family education (Family to Family), educating parents who are raising a child with mental illness (BASICS).

We provide resources and education for those working in the correctional system by being city policemen, county sheriff and deputies, first responders and judges in the judicial districts (CIT, crisis information training). 

Our family and parent programs are Free of Cost to attendees. Yes, taking classes in mental illness are free.

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

Our Affiliate's plan in 2014 was to have 6 family to family classes this year. We have already met this goal and will be starting more. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

We have had 79 parents graduate from our BASIC's class. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

Our plans for CIT in 2014 was for 6 classes throughout the state. We still have grant money available for more than a hundred officers with advocates volunteering to recruit officers for this vital program in our smaller counties and towns. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

We have just started a rock for our local pastors and ministers who are the first contact with 25% of the people asking for help with mental illness. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

How do we do all of this? By fundraising and having great volunteers. Our major fund raiser is the NAMIWalk coming in June, where you can help us with our walk by donating today. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

Our volunteers come from all walks in life; Bankers, Lawyers,Independent Business Owners, retired clergy, retired and active military officers of high rank, retired software engineers, college professors, writers, people with degrees in psychology, domestic caretakers and many more with one commonality, having a loved one suffering from a mental illness. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

These are the dedicated people volunteering to teach others, at no financial cost to the students. 

We invest in people, spending more than $40 on books and supplies for each student. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

The money we invest is funded by you. 

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

You keep us walking. I would appreciate a donation from you. Your donation is tax deductible.

Donate $5, $10, $25, $50 or $100.  We can take donations up to $2,500.00.

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

Your money is invested with a great rate of return, helping your neighbor, helping your community and helping your military to become survivors of mental illness. We retain 50% of what we raise.  50% goes to the states.  There is a NAMI organization in every state of America.

Thank you.

Please click here to donate so our volunteers can continue their work.

p.s. Motts Mind will make a donation each time their is a contributor to my cause.

Just another typical day after returning from North Carolina

Fictional Truth

I was reviewing the new front and back cover of my book.  The name of the book was correct.  The back had every hook I had suggested.  I was cool with that.  Printing needed to get started and I signed off on it.

I looked at the UPC label and retail selling price.  I was cool with that as well.  I then saw the classification: fiction, general.  In telling my true story, the editor had but one line that he felt needed to be rewritten.  He said it was a good read.  When published, however, it was perceived as fictional truth.  My next book has been renamed to just that, Fictional Truth, Unplugged.

Just another typical day.

Just a usual day that requires an Affidavit

Affidavit

Regarding actions taken and out of pocket expenses in the attempt to obtain an Oklahoma Driver License.

The Kansas issued car tag on my 2000 Buick LeSabre expires at the end of April 2014.  In the attempt to get an Oklahoma car tag I drove to Arcadia, OK where I was told by an employee of WalMart there was a full service tag office that could issue an Oklahoma Driver License and Oklahoma tag.

Upon arrival at the Arcadia office, the examiner ask me if I had been “put in to  the system” because of having a Kansas Driver License.  I answered no.  I was given the instructions to drive back to Edmond, be placed in the system and return to the Arcadia office.  The Arcadia office was chosen because there was usually no waiting line.

In Edmond the Examiner assigned to me was K. Bruner 2421.  I had an application sheet to fill out.  On the application sheet I circled the words mental illness and wrote the diagnosis of bipolar on the right hand side of the form.

The sentence on the form stated mental illness along with many other options, such as Diabetes, Epilepsy, Blackouts, fainting spells, heart disease among many other conditions.  It also asked are you now receiving treatment for any type of mental health disorder; or do you have any other of medical condition which may affect your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle.

I take medications for my mental health disorder, considering it to be a treatment.  I answered the question Yes.  I went back and reread the question seeing that the statement was intended for the ability to safely operate a motor vehicle, not the fact I was taking medication for my mental health disorder.  I made comment of such, drew a line through the word yes followed by an angled line which I signed my initials and below the line wrote the word no.

The examiner stated that my correction did not matter as I revealed I had a mental illness.  She then took another form that had boxes for the names of the medication, dosage and prescribed taking of the medication.  I told her the names, stating for some I would be giving brand names and others generic names and did not know the correct spelling of some.

Examiner Bruner stated she was quite familiar with psychotropic medications and she could spell them sufficiently.  I stated she must do many of these applications.  She stated no, but her son was suffering from mental illness.  It was very frustrating to her.  I asked if she knew about NAMI.  She did not.  I gave her my NAMI volunteer business card, explained what NAMI was, the programs offered in Edmond and the contact information for such.  She thanked me and put my card in to her right front pocket.  

Examiner Bruner stated she would need to print a number of forms.  She used the printer that was against the wall in the center of the workplace for all DPS employees.  It took quite awhile for the printer to warm up and start printing.  A second examiner went over to ask her what she was trying to print.  Examiner Bruner stated it was the Mental Health Evaluation Forms in a voice that was heard by everyone in the room.  I was humiliated by the traditional looks and stares of stigma by those I saw looking at me.

I was handed the sheets of paper.  I started to browse through them.  She reprehended me saying these papers were not for my reading but for my doctor.  She instructed me to have my doctor fill out the forms and hand deliver them to their office at 36^th and Martin Luther King.  The forms said to be mailed to the DPS.  She verbally instructed me to hand deliver the form on a Wednesday as that was the scheduled day for their doctor to be in the office.  I was told to have a nice day and I left the building.

I proceeded to my doctor’s office and left the evaluation at the front desk.  Later, I received a call from my doctor’s office stating he had never seen such a form and did not feel comfortable in filling out the form.  He would refer me to someone who would be more appropriated than he.

I was able to get in touch with the referred psychologist.  In speaking with him, he was unaware of such a Mental Health Evaluation.  I faxed him the forms.  Later, I received a call from him stating he had never seen such a form and would refer me to an associate of his.  Time was ticking away to meet the April 30, 2014 deadline.

Later, I received a call from the referred psychologist stating he could not find anyone who would do the evaluation.  Because of my deadline, he offered me his help based upon two conditions, allow for a complete psychiatric evaluation consisting of 5 hours of my time plus paying my share of costs up front based upon Medicare’s 2013 coinsurance rate of 65%.  I informed him that Medicare had completed their implementation schedule of parity as of 2014.  Since this issue was a dispute, I immediately wrote him a good faith check deposit of $100.00 so we could proceed.  The 5 hours of clinical and computer testing were completed.  Mental Illness stigma questioned him.  I had given him a complementary copy of my book, explained my advocacy efforts and volunteer time.  He stated if he had known these things beforehand his complete analysis would have been different.  As he knew me not, the intent of giving him my book was for the purpose of getting to know me in a short period of time.  I asked for the evaluation forms so I could hand deliver them as instructed by Examiner Bruner.  He had doubt in doing so as the form stated to be mailed in by him.  He had the courtesy of making a copy so I could do what I was instructed to do.  The DPS would be receiving 2 copies of an identical evaluation.

I drove from Edmond to 36^th and MLK to hand deliver the forms.  I was denied in seeing or talking with Debra Simms, the contact person I was given by Jeff Dismukes, OKDMHSAS.  The forms were given to a person named Carol who worked in office 3 and refused to give me her last name and telephone number.

I took it upon myself to call Debra Simms on the number given to me by Mr. Dismukes.  Ms. Simms and I discussed that I had hand delivered the forms to a person named Carol five minutes ago.  Ms. Simms informed me she would not be receiving the forms until the following week.  Upon my inquiries, I was told Ms. Simms was the only person processing the forms, there were 6,000 ahead of me and her timeframe for processing mine would be whenever she chose to process it.

With only a few days remaining until the end of April, I had no other recourse than to move my residence back to Kansas.  Again, additional costs were incurred for rent and purchasing Kansas insurance to go along with the current insurance that I have.  The situation is costing me more money every month.

Having the perks in Kansas of a private swimming pool, hot tub, exercise room and private theatre room I would still prefer to live in Edmond to be close to my granddaughter, a fishing license to take her family fishing and the ability to register to vote in Oklahoma.  These things appear to be gloomy at this time.

After I returned from a speaking engagement in North Carolina, I had a letter addressed to my previous Edmond address from the Department of Public Safety.  The envelope included my application with a letter stating my doctor did not describe my medication.  It stated I was responsible for getting my doctor to do so.  I don’t know why my application and included letter was my responsibility for two reasons; it is the Doctor’s responsibility to complete the form and I had previously stated my medication to the examiner who was going to fax the information from Edmond to Oklahoma City.

I returned to the Edmond DPS, asking for a copy of the original paperwork.  He returned with one sheet that was a compilation of certain areas of the original paperwork.  The examiner stated they did not keep a copy of the original paperwork.  The sheet of paper faxed to OKC was copied and pasted from the original paperwork.

Inspecting the form, I saw where my response, corrected to say No had been altered.  The change is obvious to me.  The page is fraudulent.

I took a picture of the form, zoomed in on the area in question and took a third picture which shows what was altered. 

It is my testimony that the full line drawn through the word has been changed. My initials have been removed which was above what appears to look like a tail to the letter S.  The word NO has been removed which was under and to the right of what appears to look like a tail to the letter S.  I never make a tail on the letters S.  I am left handed whereby I never swing the letter S as shown.  Other S's show how I print an uppercase S. You can also inspect the letter Y.  The letter E has also been altered.  Also the underline under the words mental health disorder is extremely questionable as I don’t recall doing such.   When instructed to circle an item, I put a circle around the words Mental Illness.  You will see on the form Mental Illness has been removed from the list of conditions.

I claim the paper is a counterfeit and I am being coerced in to a confession that is false.

I believe it is necessary to have the falsified paper reviewed by an attorney.  If the advice is to prosecute, I will willingly ask for prosecution steps to be taken and ask for the out of pocket expenses that I will be responsible for paying.  I will petition for at least the following; discrimination, violation of my civil rights, a falsified report sent to DPS in OKC and the most serious type of a coerced false confession in revealing my mental illness.

Yes, just a normal day for me.

Written and Submitted in to evidence by Randall C. Conyers, dated the 14^th day of May.

zooming in a little closer

Under the microscope