I could have exchanged the word from get to ask. I am going to write about the ask. There is a certain fact, people don't like to ask for help.
The New York Times published an article written by ALINA TUGEND who discusses asking for help at work or at home. I am going to point out changing the word work to mental illness to show the impact it has.
"RAISE your hand if you have ever asked for help at work or at home. Raise your hand if you have ever felt shy or stupid in doing so. I think I can safely assume that most of us are waving our arms wildly. Requesting assistance from colleagues or friends, whether it be for a work assignment or to help care for our children when we are sick, is something many people have trouble doing. (Some, on the other hand, are all too comfortable leaning on others. We will get to them later.) In a society largely based on helping yourself — just go to any bookstore or library and browse the voluminous self-help section — it may seem odd to promote the idea that we need to learn better ways to ask for and receive assistance.
But a small movement is saying just that." I would like to include myself in, what for now, is a small movement. My hope is to see a large movement, telling the people it is okay to ask for and receive assistance. Writing the statement for the answer to the question "Why am I here? will put this blog in to perspective. "You are here to help me as I am here to help you."
What does it feel like when I gave you the answer to the universe? What do think about receiving a one sentence response? All that I can do is testify its truth. I can't tell you the date, time or location of this event, because I don't know. I can not tell you who will help whom first, because I don't know. It might be difficult to discern the interaction.
A very likely scenario can be what happened to me, working at a Community Mental Health Center you would pick up the phone when staff had an out of office meeting and the receptionist had to leave a few minutes early to get her child to his first soccer game. The phone rang. I ignored it. The phone kept ringing, it wasn't time for the answering system to pick up. I picked up the call, not knowing what would be coming from the other end of the line. It was a first time caller. She wanted to know who we were, what we did, what should she do if a crisis were to happen (it seemed one was likely) and in general conversation I answered many "what if" questions.
I had never pick up the office phone before. I was very concerned about the first time I would be put in a position to do so. What I needed was training, someone in the office to be on the same line and could take over the conversation at the moment I made a mistake. Taking this call helped me greatly to know if I had to take another call like this I could do it. It was very empowering. She helped me address a problem I was very concerned about. At the end of the conversation she thanked me for helping to know what to do tonight and the options she has in her local community. She felt informed and knew what her plan would be. I knew she helped me work through the call, I had confidence I could do it again. She knew that I helped her in a time need.
If we were at the same location at the same time it would look like a chip and date chipmunk cartoon. She would say I helped her. I would say she helped me. No, she helped me. No, I helped her. The conversation would have gone as long as it took Chip to have Dale go before him while Dale was offering Chip to go first, after you, no after you, I insist you first, oh I couldn't, you first.... You will never know if your actions helped someone else, while that person had not a clue what help they were giving.
Imagine how overwhelming it was for the lady to pick up the phone to ask for help. On the first ring, the thought of embarrassment, 2nd ring - shame, 3rd - bad parent and the rings go on and on.
The fix is knowing It is okay to ask for help.
Where to get help is an awareness problem.
Knowing what to do during a crisis is an educational problem. Our society is getting better at eradicating stigma. Mental Illness is now a discussable subject in many ways. Still, people will exclaim, "Where's the help?". Its happened to me while posting on facebook. They seem angered, thinking it is someone else's responsibility to let them know. Those who read articles on budget cuts, hospital beds being reduced, availability of staff and other writings about no money, no service and long waiting lists have quite a paradigm. There are resource lists available in communities. There are links on websites. There are support groups that can be found by Internet search engines. There are lists in phone books. But that isn't good enough for people who know nothing about mental health.
Dial 2-1-1 Find help in your community
Learn the acronym SAMHSA and add .gov and go to its website.
S-A-M-H-S-A Substance-Abuse-Mental-Health-Services-Administration from the US Department of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary.
The fix is embedding 211 in to the minds of America, just like 911 has done.
The 3 fixes can be deemed as such because money has nothing to do with. Its a matter of human communication, one on one, telling the people you know to tell the people they know. Some will have a great conviction on the 3 fixes. Campaigns of awareness shall appear. Those with financial resources can reinforce the fixes. The media can report and share, without the need of conflict, an old approach that can be restored.
Treatment Partners
Welcome the non-seekers
It is okay to ask for help.
Remember to dial 211.
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