“66 out of 100 people are lost. 34 people were found. 9 are in recovery. 25 alive, but status is unknown.” Sounds like trouble on the high seas again, doesn’t it?
Hello, my name is Randy Conyers. I have written the book Mott’s Mind.
The numbers I gave you sounds like a ship sunk and you are hearing the first press release of casualties. The ironic thing is no one died. Its true, lost are 66 with 34 found. The people in recovery are only a single digit. It’s difficult to give an accurate account of “status” unknown. How badly are they hurt? How many are there with burns? Any idea of how many people there are with broken bones? Remember, I’m only questioning the 34 found.
I ponder on the lost, 66 people can not be found. Where are they? Where did they go? All I know, for certain, is none of the 100 died.
These numbers are the statistics found by NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness. Only one-third of the people with a diagnosable mental illness in their lifetime is receiving or seeking treatment. That’s the “34 found” of the press release.
I want to focus on the lost 66, the 2/3rds of the mental illness community. Advocates, like Peter Early, have made us aware that our nation’s correctional facilities are deemed as the highest mental health centers, those who committed a crime, regardless of them living with a mental illness.
I am going to share my story of talking with the 66% that I have written about in my book. It is a population that doesn’t understand the word recovery. It is a demographic of uneducated, unaware and misinformed people, and their families, in the area of mental illness.
There are reasons, very justifiable and reasonable, with those who know the system but are not seeking help. First, nothing is confidential. There are exceptions that others are made aware of and action is taken. Mention the word suicide and you have just triggered a series of events. Tell your Therapist you felt like going over to the railroad tracks, a thought that lasted a micro-second, venting your frustration and immediately you are classified as a danger to yourself.
Things can get worse, too. Say anything that can be perceived to be abusive and a red flag goes up, your session stops and is now focused on the abuse. You can’t vent, you can not use figures of speech such as, “I was so mad, I could have killed him right then and there!”
The consequences are life changing. Your children can be taken away or you may be the one taken away from your family. Your job could be put in jeopardy. Your standing in the community can change. You may have your driver’s license revoked.
There are great risks in asking for help with your mental illness.
We need a new innovative way to say, “We in the Behavioral Health field want to work with you on your Recovery. We can’t fix you, but we can give you the opportunity for a better lifestyle, a better quality of life. Have an impact on your life!. Start your Behavioral Health Recovery process today. Join us at my recovery center, 101 Recovery Pathway, Oklahoma City 73001 or give us a call at 800-732-6897. That is 800 RECOVER. Or visit our website at www.MyRecovery.com.
Would these words make recovery seem different in how people think?
Lastly, I want to share one story of the 66 missing that you will find in my book. I’m going to talk to you about Jane Doe. I met Jane during my recovery process.
Jane is a beautiful woman. She’s very striking and always wanted to talk. The day finally came when she could share her story. We spent many hours talking.
She and her son lived with a boyfriend and had all of the relationship problems common to many. It was now summer, warm enough to wear shorts. She had very large scars. She was a cutter. They were very bad, enough to use the correct term of self-mutilation.
It was obvious she should have had multiple stitches on multiple cuts,
a foot in length and longer. It could have taken hundreds of stitches. I had
never seen so many scars. I asked why she didn’t go to the ER. Her
first response was, “my boyfriend wouldn’t let me”. I was stunned,
ready to call the police and report the abuse.
Her story went on. The real story was if she would go for medical care, her son would be taken away from her. The boyfriend was doing his best to treat her at home. It was obvious he did not have any medical training. He was doing the best he could, yet she was looking for an out to get away from her boyfriend.
She chose to state he was a drug user and would steal her medications to get high. She said she took her medication, when she had it.
She had many variations of a story regarding a fire at her home. She
was compelled to cut again. Her stories didn’t add up. She recently
moved to our town. I was at a point where I could get on the Internet
and do research. I found it! Living in a major city in a different state
there was a news article of a tragic house fire around the time she
moved to Kansas. The report contained many mistakes made by the
mother, she was singled out by name. It was horrible, resulting in the death of her youngest child, a baby. All the stories she told to me, plus the news article gave reason for her actions. In my opinion, it was up to her to tell “the rest of the story”. She didn’t. From time to time I would try to influence her to talk about it. I told her I knew what happen in ‘state’. No response. I would tell her I was here to listen, when she was ready to talk about it. No response. At other times I would be more specific. I tried with attempts using the name of the city, the street address and the date of the fire. No response. She had the situation buried so deep within her.
On the surface, she was in complete denial. She continued to cut which, in my opinion, her body and her spirit wanted her to forgive herself. She chose to punish herself rather than forgive.
This was a time I struggled with my religious teachings of free will. I was not a reporter, I was a peer. Any reporting would be denied. She never hurt her son or anyone else for that matter. The boyfriend was doing a great job of protecting her son.
Was she a danger to herself or others? I encouraged her to take her
medication every day, no excuses, and accept help.
Any actions would more than likely result in having her son taken away. Her choice was heart-breaking. My prayer is for her to open up and forgive herself. She continued to move from city to city and boyfriend to boyfriend. I heard from her months later. She stated, “I thought you were my friend.” and hung up.
I could only conclude that someone reported her.
There’s no doubt this woman needs to be in recovery, she needs to accept that fact and work on her recovery.
The question is how can you get her to that point? She is one of the original 66 that is lost and doesn’t want to be found.
Some day, perhaps, we can change our society’s belief system so that everything is like my book, a story of recovery.
Thank you.
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